I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
