his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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