where am i from again
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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