...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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