it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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