Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
