I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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