he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
