I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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