If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need to calm my uterus...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
