NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
