Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
nutella sex= disaster
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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