last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
