Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
