what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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