i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
