Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize