I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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