yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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