Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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