he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize