Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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