two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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