I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
