So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
