i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I would fuck him just for his dog
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
