Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
