Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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