party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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I need to calm my uterus...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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