you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize