He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
