HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
