my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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