Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
