just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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