piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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