I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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