I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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