'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
