I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
