This is not my ceiling
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
