i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
