Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
