I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
