bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
