I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it glows. i had to have it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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