i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
