What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
