Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
