can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
