We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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