i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
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I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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