Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You ruined the universe
Randomize
