You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
