I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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