even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have aggressive nipples.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
