Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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