youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
