I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize