Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize