I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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