I'm passing your future prison.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
