She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We smell like vodka and hangover
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