she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just sucked dick on a ferry
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
