I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
