You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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