I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize