So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
