somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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