barbara walters just said penis...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
