he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
