Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
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he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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