another moral hangover. fuck.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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