A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize