Define "chronic" masturbator.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
