okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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